


John Laurens is dead

by bootyjupiter



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 18:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootyjupiter/pseuds/bootyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton suffers a mental break and is launched back into the war, fearing for the safety of his lover, John Laurens. His new boyfriend, Thomas Jefferson, tries to help him overcome his episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Laurens is dead

"T-Thomas..." He begged, straining his wrists against the rope that held him to the bed. "Thomas!"  
"Shh," Thomas hurried to his bedside and stroked his head tenderly, trying to reassure him. "My sweet Alexander, you're safe now." He leaned down and kissed his forehead.  
"S-Safe? But John was...and General Washington...the redcoats were everywhere..." He started to cry, tormented by his false memories.  
"The war is over, Alexander," Thomas assured him. "You're safe. Here with me, you're safe." Thomas smiled down at the traumatized young man, his chest bare so he could see it rise and fall rapidly with his breath. He slowly draped his hand over Alexander's chest, and blushed at the sensation of such smooth skin.  
Alexander gasped as Thomas began to play with his nipple, "Stop! Where am I? Where's John? General Washington...we must warn him of the attack!"  
"Shh, Alex, listen," Thomas sighed, taking Alexander's face in his hands. "The war is over. George Washington is safe. You are safe. You're having an episode."  
"Why am I tied up, Thomas?" He plead, struggling against the ropes again.  
Thomas looked into his eyes and shook his head. It broke his heart when he had to restrain him, but it was for his own good. Otherwise he may hurt himself or someone else. "It's just in case..."  
"Just in case? Let me go, Thomas..."  
"You aren't finished yet..."  
"Finished?" Alexander started to panic, worried he couldn't trust this man.  
"You still seem confused...upset.... I can't let you go yet." Thomas reached out to caress Alexander's cheek, but Alexander flinched in response. Thomas hated it when Alexander got this way. It was like he forgot everything that happened since the war. He forgot all of the passion between them and couldn't see past his fear from the war.  
"I need to see John," Alexander demanded. "Where's John!?"  
Thomas stood, starting to lose patience. "I can't bring John here...but I will get you someone better."

Alexander was whimpering quietly. His wrists ached now, but Thomas still refused to release him. Alex panted frantically as he watched Thomas converse quietly with a man he thought he recognized.  
"Lafayette," Alexander recognized him suddenly. "Lafayette!" He called to him, demanding the aid of his wartime comrade. "Lafayette!"  
Thomas nodded, allowing Lafayette to go to him.  
"Ah, mon ami," Lafayette sat beside the sick young man and shook his head. "What has become of you?"  
"Listen to me, Lafayette!" He blinked back his tears and took a moment to catch his breath. "Please, you have to help me. Thomas is holding me hostage. I have to get out! I have to warn General Washington!" He said in hushed tones so Thomas wouldn't hear. "John is in trouble."  
"Oh, Alexander," Lafayette sighed and placed a gentle hand over his bicep. "You have forgotten. John has left us. The war is gone, and our lovely John with it. I'm sorry, Alexander..."  
"No, no! There's still time to save him..."  
"The war is over, Alexander!" Thomas hissed, practically shouting at his distraught lover. "John Laurens is dead!"  
"He's lying," Alexander muttered to Lafayette. "You have to help me!"  
Lafayette sighed and stood up, turning to Thomas, "There's nothing I can do for him."  
Alexander began to weep, witnessing another friend turn against him. "There's no way out..."  
"You are safe here, Alexander," Thomas sighed, wishing for nothing more than to have his boyfriend back. "Thank you for trying, Lafayette."  
"I am the aide-de-camp for the commander in chief, his excellency General George Washington! You will release me at once!" Alexander demanded through frantic sobs. "You will rue the day you crossed Alexander Hamilton!"

"John!" Alexander fell to his knees, tears filling his eyes as he watched his truest love run toward him from across the camp.  
John ran to him and drew him into his arms. "Alexander, my love," he tilted up his chin and kissed him, slipping his tongue into his mouth to taste him for the first time in months.  
"Share my bed tonight," Alexander plead. "The others...Thomas, Lafayette...they tried to tell me you were dead, but I knew! I knew I could save you! And now we are reunited and you will never leave me again..."  
"Alexander..." John sighed and stared longingly into his beautiful bright eyes. "I have another assignment. I leave in the morning, and this time, I'll never see you again."  
"No, John, no!" Alexander fell to tears and reached out to his love, who just moved away, further and further away no matter how hard Alexander ran after him. "John! Please!"  
"Alexander, wake up."  
Alexander finally caught him as John fell to his knees , and Alexander caught him in his arms. "John!"  
John gazed up at him, the light fading from his eyes, blood spewing from his abdomen. "Don't forget me, Alexander."  
"Wake up!" Alexander awoke with a gasp, being shaken by Thomas, who stared back at him angrily. "You're dreaming, Alexander!"  
"He was alive! He was alive! John! John!"  
"Alexander, stop it!" Thomas screamed at him. "God damn you! I just want my boyfriend back!"

Alexander was exhausted. He hadn't slept well since his nightmare, and he wondered if Thomas could be telling the truth. Could John really be dead? The war over? Alexander...Thomas's boyfriend? And he couldn't sleep well with Thomas glowering at him from his seat in the corner of the room.  
"T-Thomas?" Alexander whimpered. "I-It can't be true..."  
Thomas, who was holding his head up with one hand, gazed back at him, half asleep. "It's true, Alexander. You're upset and you've worked yourself up, but you know it's true. I know you know."  
Tears escaped from Alexander's eyes as he shook his head. "Y-yes...I suppose you're right."  
Thomas rose to his feet and approached him slowly. He hesitated for a moment, but succumbing to Alexander's pleasing eyes, he undid the ropes binding him to the bed, the crawled into the bed next to him, drawing him into his arms. He sighed with relief as Alexander let him embrace him, "I love you, Alexander. I'm going to help you through this." He nibbled on his neck gently, eliciting a moan, but little did Thomas realize, Alexander was crying silently, still as confused as ever.

"It's good to see you, Alexander. You are looking well," George lied as he set eyes on his young secretary for the first time since his episode. Alexander had deep bags under his eyes and his hands shook with either fear or anxiety, George wasn't sure.  
"Drink some tea, Alexander," Thomas brought him a cup of tea to sooth his nerves, then left him to visit with his old mentor.  
"And it seems Thomas is taking good care of you," George commented.  
Alexander attempted to raise the cup of tea to his lips, but his hands shook far too much, so he set it back down. He glanced up at George and leaned in so he could whisper to him. "Thomas is holding me against my will. We must help John. You must send help for him, warn him. Thomas took me into his bed last night..." Alexander paused at this admission, tears escaping from his eyes. "You must warn John...."  
"Alexander," George sighed.  
"I'll be okay," Alexander assured him. "I will escape on my own, but John needs our help. You must help him."  
"John is dead, Alexander," George swallowed a lump in his throat. "He gave his life for the birth of our nation. He's a hero, and your friend. He would want you to move on. You have to move on, Alex."  
Alexander stared back at him in horror. "Is there no one I can trust?" He muttered to himself.  
"Alex..."  
"You are plotting against me!"  
Thomas, alerted to Alexander's distress, hurried to try to subdue him.  
"No! You have plotted against me! All of you! Don't you lay a hand upon me!"  
George helped Thomas force Alexander down on the bed, holding him down so he wouldn't hurt himself. "I thought he was getting better," George muttered gloomily.  
"So did I," Thomas sighed, a tear escaping his eyes.

"Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Alexander sobbed as Thomas and Lafayette tried to hold him down. Thomas grabbed his arms and pulled him to the ground, restraining his legs with one of his powerful thighs and both his arms with one hand, then he held his head steady with the other. "Calm down, Alexander. We just need to clean the wound. You've gashed your head open and we have to clean it," Thomas tried to explain.  
Lafayette slowly came at him with a damp cloth, but Alexander had begun to thrash and sob as Thomas tried to restrain him. "Alexander, stop it!"  
"Let me go! You may have killed the man I love, but I won't let you have me too!"  
"Alexander, look at me! Look at me!" Thomas grabbed Alexander's face and forced him to look back at him. "Listen..." He waited for Alexander to focus his attention on him. "I love you, Alex. John is gone. I am the man you love now, not him. That's the past, and you are not a slave to the past."  
Alexander made no move in response, but he permitted Lafayette to dress and bandage his wound, then he fell asleep in Thomas's arms.

Alexander fell to his knees over John's grave and wept. Thomas sighed and tried to comfort him by putting a hand on his shoulder. "H-He's really gone," he stammered. "John is dead."  
Thomas was relieved to finally hear him say it. He gently squeezed his shoulder to encourage him.  
"The war is over. John is dead." Alexander slowly rose to his feet and required Thomas's help to steady himself. "And I have a new life...with you."  
Thomas smiled and held Alexander in his arms, releasing him with a kiss upon the cheek. "It's good to have you back, Alexander."  
Alexander smiled to convince him, and as Thomas turned his back, he wiped his tears. He could feel John's touch, his lips, his presence. "Don't forget me, Alexander," John plead. Alexander could see him, standing over his own grave, pleading with him to stay.  
"John..." Alexander breathed, but Thomas took his hand and escorted him back to his new life. "John is dead," Alexander muttered as he watched his love disappear in the distance.  
Thomas nodded, "John is dead."


End file.
